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Dance Movement 8, originally uploaded by dunwho.

I'm on a different track now, im past the worst of it, am i in the fire tho? What is the FIRE really? It might just be aie, a way of tricking us into thinking we are too tired.

Maybe i am too tired, like i say to my friends, i might be on the edge of a new reality. Tiredness is just part of the package, part of the show. But if i jump, if i
choose to be part of this new reality, this new option, what will happen to reality....yes thats it the one you know so well "REALITY".

If i jump, i am in freefall, i may fall for weeks or for years, but i will fall and i dont know if i will land on my feet, if i will land with a job or a qualification, with a purpose in life or just simply a collection of material worthlessness. What am i to believe in? If i jump i will be free happy but uncertain. If i stay on level ground, if i sleep tonight, if i embrace other interests, careers, if i am what some might call "CLEVER" i wont have to worry about landing on my feet because i would have never jumped.

But if i dont.... will i want to when i can? I feel like i have been buying air bags for years... practicing the technique so that when it came to this situation i wouldnt have to worry about the fall....the fall would be the experience and landing on my feet would never be in question in the first place.

And now i am in free fall, this is what i am talking about, this is the reality that i want to be in. No thought patter....no excuses.... just creation....dance movement.......irresponsible, free, high, without reason, but without reason for reason.....you hurt nobody but yourself if you hurt yourself at all.... you push yourself as far as possible to express that which you love most.... expression ..... that is what we all need. before me these letters make a pattern...it isnt predetermined but i know where i am going...well most of the time. It doesnt matter if we are all matter, whos to matter when we are all done. Whistling in my ear the music is always welcome...screaming in my eyethe pictures and photos will always appear... bubling at my hands the creative process is a neccesity. I dont feel as if i am going to lose it, or that i will become the suit wearing boring one of a kind utalitarian freak of not freakness.... who am i sort of faceless nobody in a world of nobodies......

i know i wont be whatever that is.... i know i wont..

But if i dont do this now...will i be able to later.... should a wait a little or a while...shouyld i wait at all? Have i already jumped? and are these the questions of a falling man.?

Am i falling?

if so

where is the ground?