I wanted it to be ten years ago but it's not. It's closer than I though, but I remember thinking it was the pinnacle of what had yet been achieved. And I can still hear the achievement, it had the vibe it needed to rule.
What I hear most is the complete disconnection and inhibition. "It is times like this that I wonder what I am doing?"
But all of it sounds just like the thankless expression It had. But no escaping the truth, there for everyone to hear. Just getting it out there.
Freedom was -ation less... Loved it. I wanted all of the builds and peaks. All of the slides and fades... But all I had was a pointer and a ton of time. The results are so satisfying. And it is full circle now. Back in the same place but with more at my fingertips making things and getting results. I can nearly see it now, deep inside the sound. I can see the shapes it should be but I wonder what I want to make it with and how I want it to go out there. And things sink my expression for monetary gain. I don't look for any of it but now my friends can't even expect to know about it without and little push from the pocket, it's a different time, and I watch it sit there in an empty room and wonder why it is an outlet at all if the simplest expressions are not heard.
But I think back to then, and hear these sketches and it doesn't matter, it is just a different time. A different place. A different situation. Better results. Maybe take a step out into the circular sun with a different eye on it all. Maybe take more steps back there and push it. See what happens.